gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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