I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
