It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
