btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Two words: blizzard sex
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
