I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
