Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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