I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
