i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
