We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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