Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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