how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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