He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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