I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
