My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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