I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
