His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
