Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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