im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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