I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize