My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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