well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
