first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
