We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
