I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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