i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
In America we eat man semen.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
