Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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