I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
