I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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