yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
