I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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