the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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