This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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