I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think I won the penis lottery.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
