Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize