what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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