remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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