I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
only if we run a train.
done.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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