What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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