But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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