after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
