Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
