Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
