the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
40s are totally the cure
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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