I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
