pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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