Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
