Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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