Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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