I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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