i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
