do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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