First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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