the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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