wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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