i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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