Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize