I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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