Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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