Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
