this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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