More tranny stories later!
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
