I think im going to throw up on grandma
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize