He is an equal opportunity slut.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize