I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My life is pants optional.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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