i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
