I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
